Jaded wacko’s blog

read something that Jackie O says about women. She says, there are two kinds — One who wants power in the world, and One who wants power in bed…but there is the third kind - the beeyotch! and she gets BOTH! =) I was moved by this, women at this stage are no longer the weaker sex. I suppose we can prove that by having a woman leader in the corporate world, and in some countries president of the republic.

Some of you may not agree but then it is something that is being evident day by day. Women are no longer the weaker but the sturdier one. They strive to perfection, provide food on the table, bring about changes to the community, makes a difference in the corporate world, become one of the boys in a sport that only man dominates, strive to provide for her family and becomes a father and a mother to her children.  Truly being a WOMAN is something to be proud of.

We must be proud of ourselves, being able to stand on our own no matter how hard the circumstances are.  I admire all you women who are never  too weak to face life’s challenges.

So to all the women out there, continue to EMPOWER YOURSELVES! now is the time to stand up and be proud! Words are not enough to describe you, because everyone knows you are more than words can say. =)

LIFE is always a choice. One can never predict what happens when you give up trying tomorrow.  However, there are things we can do to make our lives a little worth it.  We can make choices- whether good or bad it will always be for everyone’s  enjoyment or frustration.

Like for instance there are so many things going on in my mind, I want to give up yet I want to stay and continue, I couldn’t contain my emotions and I want to burst out, but my senses prevent me from doing so.  It is a battle between Good and Evil, but i don’t know how I can choose one from it.  My thoughts are scattered I want to get what I want but couldn’t! I guess I’ll have to just suffer in silence.

Then try and calm myself - besides tis is yet another part of the story, LIFE entails changes and sometimes it’s more painful than how you expect it.  But one thing I know for sure, I will surpass this and will be stronger and wiser…. Tomorrow will be better! =P

—- is the place i always end up with. No matter how hard I try to elude the fact it always haunts me.  I thought I was stronger by being overly defensive on people who try to win me. I was wrong - I can’t hold on to my words forever, it was not the best option I have for years either, but it did made me realise a lot of things. Although I learned my lesson the hard way and lost some of the important people I met, I still think that it was such a good way to learn from my mistakes.  Now i’m back to where i thought would make me happy — My OLD self.

Good old passionate self! Happiness to me is now bounded by giving myself unconditionally and taking one day at a time. I can say I am still passionate about life, love and people & despite all my pain I am  here even more loving & willing to explore what i’ve missed most of my life.  That is - sharing my thoughts and dreams and living my life fully. 

Indeed, time has its own way of making me busy, I love what I have now & I hope i don’t change a single bit! =)

oh hi dear beeyotch! i miss you soo much! hibernating for quite awhile….been busy trying to be good! =)  Unless of course you want to see me bad again ha! ha! Tomorrow I will be off to work - again… and a wine tasting on the 15th, and that my friend is what’s happening to me these past few days.  I miss the long talks we have till wee hours of the morning and the crazy things we talk about from way back 10yrs ago and a little over 5yrs. Thank you for being there for me all throughout the rowdiest time of my life.  IT was a rollercoaster however, I still want to do it again and again if time permits. Nothing is far more important to me but the good memories I had with you.  And you know I have been good for a month now! ha! ha! you must congratulate me fellow B***H! (reformed mono now huh?) =p

Now, what else is there? The news should be out this weekend and i hope it will favor me.  Anyway, the technological superhighway may or may not be beneficial to us fully but then who cares?!!! Love me or hate me that is my truce, remember?    I dont care who snaps in, just as long as I am good and doing good then it will keep me hanging on the line.  Till then….. talk is cheap, lets wait and see what comes next after boom!!! hehehe

I know….tell me about it - Game stays the same only the players change…

Things happen for a reason that is….. to bury the idle mind and try to stuff it up with sensible ideas you have in your subconscious. Rough as it may seem its still an enjoyable ride. As i always say… MEMORIES are valuable. They either make you or break you however, look at the glass half full and things will always be fine. 

Happiness (Le Boner!) will always paint my face no matter what comes next after I bleed for you, it is the intangible force that propels me to do what I think would make me happy and complete me at some point. 

Whats good is that…. I still think of the happy moments I have, and then try to picture them vividly in my mind. I then smile to relive the past to be able to move onto the the next chapter again. I watch in amazement as I bleed and try to watch myself keeping promises that next time I will do better! haha!! :-) 

I know you miss me, you just don’t want to admit it.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable
amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.!

My dear fairy told me to start the new year with a blast…i said to her oh dear! i was about to hibernate and here comes the start of yet another roller coaster ride of my life. I am always being urged to go back to where I was,,, funny & witty old self.  Everyone is having fun, and I wanted to become serious! why the hell are you like that?  she asked. I just missed out on you for a month and you had so much fun going on in your life and you want to stop?! crazy biatch@@! thats what I am… 

Well, i suppose I should be back - again! haha!  I am happy with the start of the new year, a dear friend leaves for work, an old man calling me overseas at 5am on new years day, old friends sends me a siren to ask me to get ready for booze and party till mornin’ is the LIFE!  These people sure know how to rock my world… What can i say??? Why waste every second trying to figure things out when some people are trying so hard to live life to the fullest every minute they got? (thanks Dee!) got that from you buddy =). and what happens next is up to us….I just love rock & roll lifestyle.

Buraot… para sa yo ang photos… antay antay lang ha….medyo matagal kasi nasa pinas ang pityurs…. hehehe…pang inis???

before I start…kulafu… di ito x-rated ok? hehe

Today should be a good day…drove my sister to her therapy and thinking things over… when i get home it’ll be ok, i said to myself things will get better… anger is one thing i tried to get away with.  I try and learn to just shrugged it off most of the time. I try hard to let myself sink into a place where there is no such thing as frustration. I always think that no matter how perfect we try to make things, its almost always not happening the way we want it. Remember when my friends talk about my "royal temper"?  well… its going out of hand again, and its taking its toll on me today. I wanted to go and shut my world out…but thanks to my better half fairy, always there to cheer me/piss me off and send the pain below where i need it (plugging?)  =)

I guess youre right…i should let the chairs and plates fly out of the window to let go of this. Its hard when its been there all this time and just explode at a point where i dont expect it to.  Well… things will be fine…may i remind you guys, i dont worry about the problems… i worry about myself, my anger and the little things that make me bad.

been ages since my last blog…find out how a brain stressed person like me enjoys taking time out from my work…since the recent one of course! haha! I got so excited about life lately. Been driving and getting good at it, just like how i used to drive my friends crazy about my life story. Its funny though that with all the crap i’ve done in my life… this was the best of it all… and I must admit. I keep coming back to it — for just one reason… it fills me up! with all the strength i needed to go on with life. haha!

I could not even remember how long i’ve tried to keep myself away from it and just be plain simple and quiet.  I tried to miss out on the high pitch guitar and heavy beat of the drums together with my booze! but dear ! oh dear!! its time to be back again… and I just love it!  I remember how Lestat wanted to listen to his music and just let his prey fall into the hunters’ naive looking eyes.  My gawd! 

I could say that I am happy - that I am here feeling so high and free spirited. Its me! all along. I gave up rushing things and I decided to live my life one day at a time and believe me I GOT adjusted sooo easily. Time was when I had to worry too much and get my friends to calm me down, with a bottle or two of my favorite Riesling. We try to score some at Santis, when emergency creeps!  I couldn’t believe how life changed me…

Honestly… i found happiness in seeing my old self back in business! Yes my dear friends …. the fairy is back and here to stay!! Things are better this time, handing over the treasures i’ve had from the past was the best part of it all…. and another dear fairy is watching me, telling me how lucky I was to have her back. Why can’t you just join me now?.. after all.. we didnt believe each other when we said we tried to change ya???? Hey I miss you a lot!! now that we’re more powerful why don’t we try to mess up the lives of those who pretend to be our knight and shining armor? just kidding.. =)

Remember how they believe they can screw up people? they just didnt know that we screw them up better huh?!!! in each and every way they could imagine… haha!!  are we ready to speed up??!! lay back and I’ll drive…wake you up when were done!